welcome to proving myself worthy

when i heard that i have been getting irritating, i couldnt believe it.

love really drive people crazy, you know its wrong/irritating, but yet you still do it, hoping to get the best out of it. but in fact, you are digging your own grave by doing that.

now she has unblocked me again.

despite what she and my friend talked about, she still unblocked me knowing that i might be irritating her.

i really should cherish this chance she has given me.

however...

she approached me for help, yet i have no idea how i can help her, because the topic is out of my league. yet i still try to study about the matter and trying to help her.

but it is working? but no matter what i will still help her out when she is in need. because of that problem, she cant sleep well again, is getting stressed up again. and i dont know her to get unwell again. i really want her to be happy.

i really hope everything is going well for her and hopefully for me too.

welcome to square one

In the house theres...

.one bottle of GIRL

.a stalk of withered rose

.a letter card

In the car boot theres...

.a packet of balloons




Its torturing to see you online but i cant talk to you. Trying to get back in track for my life but there are all these constant reminder of you.

But this is best for now, i seriously need to cool down from everything, i have done everything too fast.

Screw up everything too fast.

I really need to take it slow...

Hopefully the one month strategy works well in the future.

For you and me.

welcome to the end

fin.

welcome to safe child

just went over the song my blue heaven by taking back sunday...

heres the quote i really love
"Is this all too familiar?
Does it happen all the time?
I'm just asking you to hear me
Could you please, just once, just hear me?
More than anything you wanted to be right
Still it's you, you,
It's you I can't deny,
(You I can't deny)
It's you I can't deny."

welcome to gone

i dont see you on the list no more.

where are you

what just happen?

welcome to agreement

after doing much thinking, i agree that i did hella lot of mistakes.

one is of course smoking

second is keep pestering her

third is keep pestering her to go out

fourth is broke a promise




shit... what can i do from now on...



should i lay low? or try to keep short conversations with her.


but if i choose the latter, i always cant think of topics to chat up with, always say the wrong things, she seldom go online anymore (or is it), she dont always reply my sms because i think i am getting really irritating.

if i decided to lay low, i really cant stop thinking of her, always hoping that cellphone of mine will glow up and showing her name as the sender/caller. i cant stop the torment of me thinking of her, i dont want to stop it, but at least let me have good feelings, not bad ones.

i am helpless...

&

hopeless...

welcome to torment

please, tell me what happen in between.

what did i do wrong

dont just ignore

just tell me something

anything.