welcome to lightning

week one of me not smoking. funny how i wanted to stop smoking. to prevent myself from making the same mistake twice. when i promised her i will not smoke infront of her, but because due to pressure and afraid of peers spreading this around, i took out a stick of Kent Menthol and smoked as she was busying taking the balloons out of my car. 26 balloons. i broke the promise. i broke her trust.

i deserve it...



but if lightning do strike twice,

please let it happen.

as i can see her face again...

welcome to blocked

when md told me something about her personal message two days ago, even though i didnt see it, i felt a straight pierce to my heart for no reason.

i dont know what to do anymore

what can i do.

i dont know anymore...

welcome to i get a kick out of you

yesterday i went to my company's clubbing night out, usually when i go to this kind of things, i usually go crazy over it. but surprisingly i was quite dead during that night, i went there and left like 1 hr afterward. now i dont get the kick from alcohol anymore. but i get a kick out of her. but she obviously dont adore me...

please please tell me what actually happen. because i am really confused over it. please... stop tormenting me.

what about the 26 as your fav number?

what about the gossip.

what about us.










screw the gossip.

screw those people who gossip over it.

screw you guys.

welcome to week 1

a week has passed since that day, today is the exact week after i went out with her for the (hopefully not) last time.


we haven had any actual conversation since then. i really dont know what happen in between.


day 3 of me stopping smoking. so far so good...


really have a aching feeling whenever i think of her, got a hint of her, or seeing anything else that is related to her. i know for sure, this is definitely not the withdrawal symptoms from not smoking. but still i will still continue to preserver and support her no matter what, i will be there when she is in need, i will become her hero. i want to be someone that she can rely on. i want to protect her and make her happy. seeing her smile really makes my day... no, it fulfills it.

i will always be there for you.

welcome to heartbeat

it has been a day since the day i quit smoking, well ... what i can say is so far so good.




or is it...



everytime i get a glimpse of her in my mind, my heart just jumps.


but i know very well the cure for this.


too well...


too hard...

welcome to mistake

and then i go and spoil it all by hinting something stupid like i love you

welcome to take it slow

what zm and daryl said its true.

imagine if youre the person that someone is chasing.

if you dont feel attracted to the other party, you will feel irritated if he/she keep forcing you.

like the usual saying, it takes two hands to clap.

i guess i am rushing things too fast.

i really have to take it slow.

if not i will really screw things up,


again.